The first topic of this blog will be a topic often overlooked and extremely misinterpreted. However, it is a topic I strongly have opinions on. I believe in the art of letting go. In cutting ties with people that are not supportive, it only benefits us in every aspect of life.
Many people are steered towards the mentality of “I cannot let this person go.. because”, but why exactly do we choose to keep people around for the sake of them being blood, friends, etc? For me, it has always been easy to cut people out of my life. I tend to get bored quite easily with people. I suppose it is also due to the independent personality I have. I do not seek to engage in relationships with people who have no morals, values, intelligence, ambition, goals, perspective, etc. I make no effort in the pursuit of keeping people in my life for the sake of whatever relationship I have with them. Some may call it distant, disconnected, rather cold, but we must protect our mental well-being. Choosing to not tolerate disrespect, mental drainage, lack of regard, etc, is not by any means cold to me. I, however, tend to let the relationships go very quickly. I do not hesitate to let go and I do not stay in a place of regret. I simply just move on. This mentality has helped my overall mind. I have always been rather perceptive, intuitive, naturally all over aware of people and their intentions. I pretty much know from one conversation if someone will be in my life any further than that. I do not freely give my time to people who waste it. I choose very wisely. I have a low tolerance for people. I really do. I keep my circle small and it saves me a lot of drama. But I have seen many who are extremely opposite of me. Who tend to remain in toxic relationships, who keep their family hanging on simply because it is their family, they wont end a friendship even if the person is using them or is toxic of some sorts. I, for one, find it completely baffling to see how hard it is for some people to cut out toxic people. Now, we all have the capabilities to be toxic. We do. And I am sure that we may have been the “bad guy” in someones story at one time. It happens. But we fight to change, accept, let go, forgive, and simply move on. We grow, we mature, we change. At least in most cases people want to change toxic behavior.
You ever hear the saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink”? What it means is simple really; you can give people advice, you can give insight, you can try and guide and direct them, but ultimately it will only ever be their choice to make the final decision to change their life. If talking to someone drains you to the point where you feel burdened after speaking to them, why do you allow it in your life? If someone is constantly gossiping, starting drama, bringing in dysfunction, weighing on your mental health, etc, find your worth and your value in removing them from your life. Do not do it bitterly, just forgive and simply move on. If you have people who want to do absolutely nothing with their lives, people with no ambition, no determination, no drive for success, no perseverance through the storms, no courage, no goals, believe me when I say the people we choose, yes we do choose, to have in our lives plays a huge role in our very own mentality. Have you ever noticed a weight being lifted off of you when you have cut someone out? It is a given that some people may be harder to cut out than others. But we make a choice every single day in the people we surround ourselves with. Ultimately, these people will either lift you up, encourage you, support you, and want to see you win, or they will knock you down, belittle you, and drain you completely. It goes back to the above statement- we can lead a horse to water, but we cannot make it drink. Being around someone who wants to do nothing with their lives, plays a huge role in our own mental state. As we get older and we mature, we sometimes learn that quality is and always will be superior to quantity. It always has been for me. Not everyone is going to defend you in front of your face and behind your back, not everyone will respect you, care about your well-being, and support you. Quality triumphs quantity because of the fact that the loyalty of a small crowd will always be more empowering than the quantity of a large group of disloyal people. I have been called “wise beyond my years” many, many times. I know people that will stand behind me in my corner and those who will not. I am not naive. I generally am able to scope someone out from the very beginning. Regardless if someone is your friend, your family member, etc, be wise and mindful of what you can tolerate. Respect yourself to walk away from people who mentally exhaust you. Remember- when one door closes, another one opens. When you cut out toxicity, you start to plant seeds of life. Ultimately, you grow. And surely, you will. In the place of that toxic relationship you cut off, you will receive another relationship that is fulfilling, uplifting, encouraging, and overall good for you. Do not fall into the mentality of believing just because someone is a friend or family member that they need a spot in your life if it is damaging your well-being. Take control of you and your life, and protect your mental well-being at all costs. You learn, you grow, you move on. You get better for new relationships and exit out the toxic ones. You better yourself for you and those around you. You can’t expect to be better while weights are on your shoulders day in and day out. Although for some it may be hard, believe me, it will all be worth it.