Hello, you all.
I usually say “y’all” but I’m not in the South anymore but in New York, so I must say as the New Yorkers say. Am I authentic or what? Kidding.
Thursdays are my days around here. Today marks one week for this blog! I am enthused.
If you’re following Jason (@netflix_and_proteinshakes) or me on Instagram (@angebel_atl), or even with the introductory post we said we’d post something every day of the week. So where is yesterday’s post? Wednesday, March 28th’s? What do we even talk about on Wednesdays around here, since we have a theme going? Fridays are portfolio days, Saturdays are health & fitness tips, Sundays are for meal prepping, Mondays for mental health and psychology…and Tuesday for recharging.
What’s Wednesday? Well, on Wednesdays, we talk about marriage and relationships. We didn’t post yesterday. On a surface level, I’d like to apologize- since we have a daily thing going.
Maybe it’s ironic that we didn’t post yesterday. I’ve been looking forward to Jason posting about marriage since we got the idea to run a blog. Ironically, marriage did take over this past wednesday. It took over our time, and nothing else was reached into. And that’s totally okay.
Marriage is tough. I’ll say it. We have been married just five days shy of four months as of today. I learn new things every day. I don’t always understand my husband, and frankly- he doesn’t always understand me. (That’s fair, right?) But I suppose there has to be a battle plan. There has to be a meeting point in the chaos. We’re going to figure it out, together.
If I can add this in, I like to be transparent. I learned the hard way that being an open book and transparent isn’t the same thing. I’ll be sure to write about that on another Thursday. But from here on out, I’ll be as transparent as possible. While I have always been an open book, Jason is much more reserved.
Usually, during an
argument discussion I get drained. So drained. I shut down. I could see the person talking to me, but I process nothing. I am nearly a hollow shell. I usually accuse my husband of prolonging things, and this time, just maybe it wasn’t him. It was me. I heard him say some really sweet bell ringing words yesterday: “If you would have just answered the question earlier, this all could have ended.”
I’ve never heard him say that.
Now Jason isn’t a drama picking person now. Don’t get me wrong. We just handle certain situations differently.
While I could always, but wouldn’t spill out our can of worms, perhaps this post is an appreciation post, or the waving white flag of surrender. Maybe, I’m angry at the thought that I wasted so much time on useless friendships, relationships, and worst of all, people’s opinions. I don’t know.
I just know that when I think of my husband, I think of home.
I’ve been bitter. I’ve been selfish. I’ve been lazy and sterile with my tolerance grounds. Since I have come to the realizations, I should stop putting myself down. So on a less self-critizing note, I am determined. I’m determined to outgrow everything that I think that I know. (That’s one of my favorite quotes, by the way. “Let go of what you think you know.”) I have zero-tolerance for bad vibes, or anyone with bad intentions towards my tribe.
There are so many topics that [my husband and I] are eager to talk about. One of the topics we will be talking about soon is our personality types. I am so excited. Stay tuned.
And if I can just take this moment, to tell my husband anything and something:
I appreciate you with my entire soul. I love you. The thought of you warms me. You are my living room. You are my favorite cooked meal. You are a good book. A good film. You are a good eye roll. You are growing pains. You are the lover of my youth.
See you all next week,